Two weeks ago, I decided to commit to get back into the habit and lifestyle of being a Runner again. I found a marathon training program and another for a 50k, which I intend to work through, back-to-back. And you know, as an experienced runner, you know you’re supposed to ease back into running if your mileage is not up where you “need it to be” for your training.
… So of course (as an experienced runner) I decided to jump right in. Head first. I ran seven miles to work with a friend Thursday for the first time ever (pretty cool to get to run to work), and went out yesterday for my first 10 mile run since … Well, honestly, sometime last September.
Now here I am, beginning Week 5 of 18 in Marathon training (I skipped the first two weeks because I’m already a runner, after all), making an all-natural and organic home-remedy from Simple Green Smoothies of lemon, ginger and honey, hoping with all hopes that this will kick the sore throat I am beginning to develop before it becomes a full-blown-sickness-thing.
I am overdoing it, and it is showing up in my body.
The classic conundrum now begs my attention: how do I make the choice to slow down, scale-back, and let my body heal when I have goals to meet?
I am registered for the 20 mile race at the Peterson Ridge Rumble happening April 12th. I’m excited, nervous, and thrilled to have a goal distance to train toward. And now I’m afraid I’ll fall behind. Because I started behind.
The past two weeks have been … stressful, to put it lightly. I moved two weeks ago, I’m looking for opportunities to move forward in my career, and I am feeling my way through a transition in perspective in life, and finally learning what is really important to me.
And believe me, it has been one heck of a long haul.
I find myself experiencing moments of jealousy. People that I work with that are really happy doing what they love: how did they find their path so quickly? The entrepreneur friend who has opened a coffee shop, or a boutique, or is a designer creating art and making a living: these people are my heroes, and it is incredibly inspiring to see them succeed at business they passionately worked toward.
How did they manage to do these fantastic things so early in life?
And why do I feel so behind in the game?
I have always been successful at what I put my mind to, and I am immensely grateful for this ability. In college it was easy because you had to choose one thing to study and get your degree. And I’ll admit, after graduation and landing a “real job” I didn’t feel the need to pursue anything in particular besides enjoying life in that moment. Now I find myself unable to find my focus; to choose one thing to put my energy toward and tackle. Except…
I know I want to run. And race.
And putting my mind and body out there in the elements, asking it to perform like it did last summer post Newport Marathon, pre-Siskiyou Outback, without a proper gradual increase is causing a mild rebellion. So, despite my brain yelling at me to get out and run, I am going to sleep in tomorrow, have an easy morning, and head to the office. Drink tea instead of coffee, and eat wholesome foods to nourish my body and soul back to health.
Sometimes it is hard to listen to that little voice in your head, urging you to do what is best for you.
Right now, I choose to listen to the murmurs, and hope to all grace and goodness that soon I’ll get the message that all is well and I’m free to run circles around my currently un-trained running self. With any luck, whispered tidbits of wisdom will float through my mind and begin guiding me, providing a sense of focus for my soul to settle and commit to a purposeful pursuit.
Letting go of the anxiety of not knowing and using the logical brain to think everything through, and beginning to allow the guidance of feeling to take over is my new objective.
I would love to hear from you, your thoughts and what is working for you on your journey through life:
How do you feel your way through life?
How do you know when you are being guided?
When did you discover your greatest desire and passion?
Thanks so much for taking the time to ponder possibilities, share successes, and contribute to this magnificent conversation about life and the pursuit of passion.
with love and light,