Attachment

Portland 1/18/15Tonight is my last night in this beautiful building, and as I look out the window and my glorious city view through the pouring rain… I realize, I have no attachment to this place as my home.  I never did develop a sense of solidity here.  

Its funny.  The more I learn through the teachings of yoga, we are taught to move toward non-attachment in many aspects of our lives, and I find myself being more able to separate from having a hope or desire for outcomes to be a certain way, yet … I almost feel that it is a very odd thing to not be somehow … perhaps, emotionally? … connected to the place where you rest your head at night.  To where you sleep, eat, keep prized possessions, and find sanctuary from the world outside.

Something in me never … bonded with this home.  This apartment truly is beautiful.  And it has this lovely, fantastically cozy bench in the kitchen with a radiator under it, so it is (almost) always warm.  And the view.  (Have I mentioned the view?)  I mean, really.  This is kind of unreal:

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And so cozy.

I will miss the vintage golden-yellow of the building that while standing in my kitchen made it almost possible for me to imagine I was standing in Italy…  Almost.  (I think it’s time stop almost imagining, and take a real trip to Italy).

I am excited about my new home.  I somehow feel grounded in that space.  I wanted it two years ago when I first discovered this building, and now I have achieved my home in this wonderful place, where I hope to find some peace and contentment.

with joy and happiness in being where we are…
~Alaina

The Best of Intentions, Rain, and A View

As I sit here in the nook of my kitchen, on the radiator warmed bench at eight o’clock in the evening on Thursday night, I know I should be packing.  My intention for the evening was to make at least one trip over to my new apartment (yes, to those of you who know me, I am moving again) to transport some of the little things that I can fit in my pint-size vehicle.  But when I got home from work, my stomach growling – reminding me I need to eat, I got out the leftover soup which is basically the last bit of food left in my refrigerator, and set it to warm on the stove.  Immediately, the desire to bake biscuits to go with my dinner hit me.   I found a recipe to reference, throwing together a mish-mash of different gluten-free flours to make this last-minute addition come to fruition.

This week at work has been a little overwhelming, and trying to spend my evenings working to move my home… It really brings up the urge to bake!  I get so much joy out of creating food, and somehow it is incredibly relaxing, so I tend to give in when inspired (last night I made cookies).

Now having eaten my delicious, purple soup (this is what happens when you throw all the vegetables in your fridge into a pot with some water and rice, and one of the veggies is a purple cabbage), and indulging in three gluten-free biscuits with lavender pear fig jam, I listen to the falling Splat! of the rain draining off the roof of my building, and the desire to go anywhere has vanished.

I really am looking forward to this new place; somehow I feel like this is some kind of “reset” button on my life, and I am excited to see what kind of changes come out of this new home.

I will, however, miss this view:

city view PDX

I guess I’ll have to go running uphill in the morning to find my own view!  Like this one: (unfortunately for me, the lot overlooking this section of Portland is now for sale – fortunately for the future home owner, there is an incredible city-scape laid out before the lot)

Pre-dawn lights from Tuesday's early run
Pre-dawn lights from Tuesday’s early run

So tonight, at 8:38pm, warm, fed, and pretty tired, although deterred by the rain, I will make my trek.  One small trip, if only because I promised myself that I would, and I know it will provide me a small sense of accomplishment (and avoid all those upset-at-self feelings).

How do you stay motivated when the rain has you down?

As always, I’d love to hear your thoughts, and welcome you to leave a comment below.

with joy,
Alaina

P.S. As I wrote that last line committing to venture out in the wet, it started pouring.
…Where are my boots…?

Trains, Bridges, and Bicycles, Oh My!

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This morning as I headed out for my morning run (one whole hour later than I usually step outside), I felt good.  My legs certainly needed some shaking out, the sun was bright in the sky, temperature low at about 50 degrees, and I just had that positive feeling in my bones that makes you feel light and joyous.

Everything was perfect.  Until I got to the tracks, and there was a train.  And the train was not moving. I have had a few encounters with this train in the last few months, and one would assume that I remember it will be there right around seven o’clock every morning!  But I have yet to remember this mildly important fact, and frequently find myself on an adventure to “get around” the train and down to the waterfront.  Today, I decided I would go over the Broadway Bridge Ramp at Lovejoy, and back down onto Broadway for a little variety.  The lights were not in my favor, so I ended up crossing the bridge.
And apparently, I was on the wrong side, as herds of bikes passed me… I was going upstream.  Possibly an annoyance for the many people on wheels pedaling their way to work, but I was overjoyed – I had the best view:
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I ended my run back in the neighborhood – cutting it short at 4 miles instead of 5 (tiny pangs of guilt for not doing my planned number of miles, and truthfully –  overall, I’m happy I got outside!).  I walked the last couple blocks to my favorite coffee shop.
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This morning was so gorgeous; I feel like it has been weeks since I was able to capture a few great photos, and today… I feel like I got my Mojo back.  🙂
How do you deal with road blocks? Do you wait for them to clear, or stride out on a new path?
Here’s hoping tomorrow’s potentially adventurous route brings another batch of beauty to behold.
with joy,
~Alaina

Fair Weather Runner No More! … Or Not

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On Tuesday last week, after my first weekday run, I decided I had finally succeeded as a runner: I no longer shy away from running in uncomfortable weather!   Tuesday morning was cold and wet … very wet.  I felt proud of myself for getting out, completing five miles in heavy rain, and rather enjoying myself.

Puddle jumping with the Geese!
Puddle jumping with the Geese!

I was ready to declare to the world: I am no longer a fair weather runner!

… and then I woke up Wednesday morning to a sunrise blackened by heavy cloud-cover and the sound of hail hitting my windows…  And the only thought going through my mind was: “I can run at work today”.
On the treadmill.

Immediately I was upset with myself.  It felt like I was cheating!  And that was not the end of it… when I decided to do my run – on the treadmill – the sun broke through the black sky and taunted me as I looked out the window from my stationary running machine.  I nearly got off the track and got outside, but the threat of hail and heavy rain kept me sequestered indoors.

I run in the rain all the time!  It seems rather silly (or dare I say, shameful!) that I would avoid the outdoors simply due to the threat of inclement weather.

Do you find yourself avoiding your outdoor workouts when the conditions are less than favorable?  

Fortunately, this week the weather has turned and given a nod to Summer… into the eighties, beyond my wildest imaginations for end-of-April in Oregon.  Unbelievable.  I ran at sunrise without a hat for the first time this week, and in a t-shirt this morning!  (I like to stay warm, generally that means long sleeves, hat and gloves in the wee hours of sun-rising).

And it has been so Beautiful!

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I am loving the early sunrise, heavy foot traffic on the waterfront, and reflections in the river I have come to know so well in the last six months.

This weekend, we return to rain, and I resolve to get out and run!

Happy running!
~Alaina

Red All Around

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This morning at the end of a three mile run, I was greeted with a glorious red sunrise. The old saying “Red at morning, sailor take warning” popped into my head, and was a small consideration when I dressed for the day.

Now, as I leave work, headed to meet my special someone for dinner on a day of the year that I have rarely had someone to share in the Hallmark moment, the sky is once again reflecting hues of red. The air around me smells almost pink, there is so much warm light glowing all around me. I begin to wonder if Mother Nature is playing games with us as “Red at night, sailor’s delight” runs through my thoughts.

Perhaps today was a day for the Earth to celebrate as well, and she donned her red cap this morning in honor of Valentine’s Day, and a light burgundy shawl tonight to show her participation in this day.

…or maybe it was supposed to rain today, but the weather patterns changed and rain is no longer in the forecast. 🙂

Whatever the case may be, I am happy to have the opportunity to share some time with the important people in my life, and to tell them I care.

To all my fellow runners, and to my dear friends and family, I love you and wish you all the best, today and always.

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~Alaina