Over eight months ago was my last rambling in this lovely space, and I feel … stuck at how to begin telling you about the major transformation my life has taken in such a short time.
It’s like these stairs in my new neighborhood…
There have been challenges. Physical pain. Heartbreaking loss.
After it all, I have continued to climb this hill, and find myself in a very happy place.
I now own a home. I am finally running again! And a new sense of purpose is subtly finding a place in my mind, rolling off my lips, and it is finally time to make space for this new adventure on a page.
After the broken toe (and spirit), the healing solo vacation, and buying my first home, I now know what I need to do.
While I was on the journey through Yoga Teacher Training two years ago, I found myself contemplating creating (what I thought was) a new career: healthy lifestyle coach. I found so much joy in talking with my peers about what they really wanted to do and encouraging them to step forward, plus I was exploring cooking and baking without sugar, with success! And I really want to share my ideas and recipes with you, my friends.
So this is when I get to tell you: I am starting a new project.
Alwayslovinlife has fulfilled her purpose for the time being. She will stay here, and perhaps I will visit from time to time with notes or pictures from my running adventures (because I do plan to have many more).
This is a new adventure to share my real life with you (not just the running highlights):
– Recipes created without added (processed) sugar (using REAL FOOD)
– Reduce/reuse/recycle ideas and DIYs (“Save the Planet!” because I have always been that way. And now I have a house that needs furniture and fixing – on a budget!)
– Relevant ideas regarding mindfulness & self-care. This is a practice that is difficult for me to maintain, so I am asking you to help hold me accountable.
– And more developments to come, once I catch my stride in the new space!
That’s the scoop! I am happy to finally have the processed enough of the stuff of last summer/fall/winter, and have the mental clarity (and drive!) to start moving forward again. One step at a time.
Look for another post coming soon regarding where to find more updates from me in the near future!
(To all you friends and family that I have been talking about starting that food blog: Yes – it will be live within a week!)
Thanks to everyone who has been so supportive and patient with me as I spent time with myself, in my mind, in workbooks, staring out windows, and painting furniture to work through my grief for all this change, and process how to make my next steps. I appreciate all of you so very much.
I made a mistake! Somehow, while I was still composing my thoughts, I accidentally posted the drafted beginning of a blog entry, and it was seen by people… and I feel a little… naked. (Yikes!!!)
Fortunately, blog posts can be moved back to “Draft” (who knew, and Hooray!!!), so you will see a better version of the story you may have started reading and thought, “Hm… This does not seem to have a true ending” because… well, it is not yet finished! I’ll get those thoughts corralled and edited, and out to you all soon. Thank you kindly for your understanding while I remove, edit, and complete that entry.
Today, I want to share with you the run I had the pleasure of going on with my friends (nice and early to beat the heat) on Sunday. We started at a track, quickly made it to a trail for an intensely UPHILL climb, we passed the Zoo, and the beautiful Rose Garden, and made our way back into the city to finish our gorgeous, wooded, challenging, and fun run.
We started in the trees, and headed for the clouds…
Toward the end, we may have gotten a little silly.
(It is important to cross the road as a group and stay visible to traffic… We made the process a little more fun).
All in all, this being my first eight mile run experience in over three months, it was great! Although my quads felt like they wanted to remove themselves from my body and take a nap nearing the last half mile after all that up and down, I really, really enjoyed this run.
And spending time with those wonderful women.
(My synchronized running team). 😉
How did you move your body this weekend?
What is the goofiest thing you’ve done during a workout?
Last weekend, for the first time in months – No, years – I got myself a ticket to a three-day dance event. And I went out. Every.Single.Night.
It was delicious.
I had such a great time (once I got over the “I don’t know a soul here” shock). I reconnected with friends from six years ago (when I was avidly involved in the dance scene), met some new friends, had many wonderful dances with great leads, and really got into spinning around the hardwood floor again. Simply divine.
I need new dance shoes.
The only pair I have are a pair I purchased when I went to a West Coast Swing event in Reno – I think I was in college, then. (a.k.a. It’s been a while – they’re old shoes now). So all weekend I was wearing these little lyrical sandals I got… also many years ago, in college. I think they were purchased for a Ballet class.
I was basically dancing barefoot, which is what many people who enjoy this type of dance do. You’re low to the ground, you can move around easily, lets you get that rhythm in your knees… It’s a lovely way to feel connected.
Sunday night, I was so proud of myself.
I made it out to dances three nights in a row! I even stayed out till nearly three a.m. on Friday and Saturday (I was not able to meet my girlfriends for the Saturday run due to needing sleep. Apparently staying out till 3 a.m. sets me back in a way that it did not used to in my mid-twenties. And I can no longer sleep in until some ungodly late – morning hour due to repetition of awakening before six. 8:30 a.m. was not the “Sleep in” I was hoping for on Saturday).
Sunday I made a promise to myself. I would head home at midnight because I needed to be at work the next morning. At sometime around 11:30 p.m. I saw an old friend showed up unexpectedly, and at around 12:15 a.m. I got to dance with him. I love dancing with this man – he spins me quickly like a Westie (we met doing West Coast Swing many moons ago), makes eye contact, always keeps me from running into other couples, and I just feel like a good dancer when we’re on the floor together.
Toward the middle of that song, I noticed we were on the side of the room that had a bump in the floor – you know, where the slats of hardwood have popped up on one side and there’s a little lip? Yeah, that one. And I could feel my sandal catching on it every once in a while. A bit of a nuisance, no real trouble… until… My toe caught on the little annoying lip.
I felt a little bit of a pop, which I thought was my toe merely ricocheting back toward the place in the middle of my foot where it belonged, and a minor bit of pain, but I ignored it and kept dancing (stay on the ball of the foot, keep the toes lifted to prevent that from happening again). Thanked him at the end of the song, and went to sit for a minute. I allowed myself one more dance then decided to head home (at around 12:25am – 25 minutes after my own imposed curfew).
When I got home, I notice some bruising on my toe. And it was pretty painful. And I knew. Despite the fact that it wasn’t really swelling. Despite the fact that it wasn’t pointing in a weird direction.
My toe was broken. IS broken. Yep –
Time to take a break.
I finally made it to the doctor today after one day of denial, and a second of no availability and she confirmed it for me. Fracture.
Which means… no running (or dancing) for 4-6 weeks. Or (gulp!) longer if pain persists.
I am not sure how to navigate this obstacle. I’m pretty sure this also eliminates any aerobics classes, yoga involving being on the toes, and excessive walking.
Serious lifestyle change.
So, I guess I have to … go to a gym. And… ride a bike? Use the rowing machine? Lift weights???
I haven’t done any of that in years. I guess it’s time to give those old friends a visit.
… Want to know the funny thing?
The fact is, I had been planning to increase my mileage and days/week running starting, oh… Now. And after my experience dancing last weekend, I was all ready to get back out to do some swing or blues every other week or so.
Yet, truthfully? I have a seriously strong desire to create some kind of consistency in my life, start a daily spiritual practice (of some kind – still working out the kinks) each morning, and although I really want to incorporate running into this routine, I have been unable to get up at the same time each morning with any regularity, and maintain this practice. While on this train of thought, a lightbulb went off:
I manifested a broken toe.
So now, taking a break due to my blessed broken toe of fate, I will be working more on me – spiritually rather than physically. This will be a … difficult change, but one I am finally ready to take on (and I kind of have no choice). Certainly this is a great opportunity to dive right in: why not take advantage whilst injured (before I’m all healed and back at it ignoring my wise inner voice).
Now where to start…?
My question for you, my dear runner/athlete friends, what is your favorite non-running (not a lot of foot movement) workout to do when injured? (I’m entering new territory here, and I’ll take any advice you’ve got!)
Thanks so much and have a great time out there for me! I’ll be thinking of y’all gliding through the air in the great outdoors… Happy running! And send photos!
Sometimes we do things and then realize how silly we are, right? Such as running only once (maybe twice) a week while “training” for a 20 mile race…
Apparently, (according to my most recent history of recorded runs in the months of February, March and April) I no longer feel that 20 miles is a huge challenge. I know if I stay hydrated and bring enough nutrition, I’ll be fine. My legs will carry me over the distance. Sure, I’ll be a little tired and sore for a couple of days, but that’s true after any hard workout (including yoga). So, while watching each day of the week pass, the only real training I was doing was in the form of a long run on Saturdays, which is fortunately coordinated by a dear friend, and I love catching up with the girls on the weekend, so I make it a point to attend. During the week I got out once, maybe twice for two to six miles. My total weekly mileage may have reached (almost) 35 miles (only on one week of training – and that included a 19 mile Saturday run).
What happened to my drive? And the clarity I felt when preparing for my first 50k? At that point in time, my only concern was being able to accomplish that goal – to finish running 31.8 miles without injury. And I trained hard. I got out for every single run in my training plan. And now what? I had a race planned; a goal with a date printed in ink on my calendar, why was I unable to motivate myself to get running in a way that would have helped me complete this challenge more efficiently?
Maybe it was the distance. 20 miles is an odd number. I don’t know if there exists a training plan for races between half marathon and marathon distance. (…This feels like a terrible excuse – cancel that). Whatever the case may be, I am changing my strategy. It’s time to get races on the calendar, and to plan my workouts – because not only do I want to be better prepared and efficient during my next race, I want to be better at running. Stronger, maybe even faster.
Fortunately, despite my lack of training or strategy, The Peterson Ridge Rumble went well. The weather was great, and although the terrain was primarily dry, dusty, and rocky, I was able to get a few good shots:
Ultimately, I have learned that I need to plan ahead in order to meet any training goals. I was able to finish the race a bit faster than I expected, in 4:15 by my watch (4:20 by the website – I stopped for at least 5 minutes for picture-taking in the first half, and toward the end of the race, I just let the clock keep running. Ah the life of an iPhoneographer runner).
Tomorrow evening I intend to do some research, detail which races I will sign up for and run for the rest of the year, and create a running/workout schedule to follow.
Because – speed. And consistency. And all good things that putting energy and focus into something you love will do to improve your results.
Now, I would love to hear your “ah, hah” moment.
Have you ever realized you were not doing yourself any favors by cutting yourself slack while training? (0h, boy!) And what did you do once you came do that conclusion?
Do you have a favorite weekly workout schedule?
I am strongly considering running long on both Saturday and Sunday – I just love getting out for a while on my day off – it feels so good to spend time out enjoying my run without the rush of “I have to get to work” or “I need to get home and cook dinner” clouding my brain. What are your thoughts on doubling up on the weekend?
I hope you all have a fantastic weekend run! (I’m getting out tomorrow!)
The past month, finally (nearly) finished with the painting that needs to happen in my home (yes, there will be a before and after post), I have been able to muster the energy to get out and run before work. (Less late nights with a paintbrush in hand). My-oh-my the glory of moving.
And not a moment too soon!
There is only about a week and a half of running days left until the Peterson Ridge Rumble, and three of my friends and I will be tackling the 20 mile distance. After running 19 miles on Sunday, I have no doubt we will all finish. It is likely to be a gorgeous race day.
I have been putting so much effort into my home (yes – an apartment) that I have been neglecting not only my daily moving meditation (running), but also my written outlet – as well as providing fabulous city pictures to all of you (I am not trying to bribe you into moving to Portland, but seriously. It’s pretty great here).
Here are a few from my most recent running adventures:
I am looking forward to adding a couple of races between now and Fall. I think I will sign up for the Portland Marathon this year for the first time, so October is filled.
Any suggestions for Spring and Summer NW area races that you have loved within a few hour’s drive of the Portland Metro area?
Have you ever found yourself avoiding the activities you once loved?
Have you been in a place of constant learning and pursuing eight different newpassions all at once?
And when you finally achieve your 200 RYT yoga certification, become a Reiki Practitioner, and finish your contracted time working with a business coach to set up your Reiki & Coaching practice – You find you’re ready to launch (once you have your logo), have copy and marketing packages planned (yet your website doesn’t exist), business license acquired and bank accounts are set up, and you’re talking with all of your friends and family about starting this business you love – and yet…
You can’t get yourself to start.
Oh, no wait, this is no random example – this is about me.Yes, this is the story of the last seven months of my life. I found myself shoulder-deep, hands tied to my sides, unable to move forward with this business I thought I wanted – no, needed– to start.
I wasexhausted, frustrated, and tired of putting all of my time and effort into this thing that was not exciting to me.
Don’t get me wrong – I love yoga. And I think Reiki is amazing, and I am so grateful to have learned how to properly use this gift I was born with of healing with my hands, yet… something was missing.
So one day, shortly after moving in to my (new) apartment, I was trying to set it up in such a way that would allow me to accommodate clients with comfortable seating and a place to set up the Reiki table, when a random thought crossed my mind, and caught me totally off-guard:
What I really want is a space where I can sit comfortably and eat a meal. What would that look like?
Which lead me to start thinking some more about why I was setting up my space for other people… And then: what would it feel like to let go of starting my Reiki business? I was well aware that I had been self-sabotaging any real chance of getting it off the ground (by not doing anything to move forward with getting clients), and as soon as I allowed myself to explore the idea, I felt my shoulders relax away from my ears, weight leaving my mind as it became less frantic and the whirling slowed. I could breathe again. In that moment, I decided:
I will allow myself the freedom to choose to let go of starting this business.
It took seven months, a few large investments, and a very deep breath to finally realize: If I was being honest with myself: I did not want to start this practice. I felt like I was pretending to be someone I am not, slipping into a skin that was not mine, and putting on a happy face to show that I really wanted to move in the direction of having a Reiki practice. And in letting go, I was finally free to actually be Me.
Slowly, in the places where I felt drained of all energy before, I now feel a sense of creativity coming back into my life. When I moved in January, I was informed tenants can paint their apartment, and I have completely indulged in painting – walls, trim, ALL rooms (before and after soon to come!). It has turned into a huge (really ginormous – going on three weeks here, folks) task, yet it is making me incredibly happy. I have never felt more at home.
The past few weeks, settling in to this new place (mind freedom and space freedom), I have finally been able to get back into running – and the joy that comes with the expending energy moving solely by my own feet through the air and around this fair city reminds me how much I need to make time for this self-care.
Somehow, I manage to surprise myself again – Letting go of the routine of the run, after recognizing its importance in my life, and in returning re-remembering how much this daily ritual of moving meditation brings a lightness to my work, and keeps a smile on my face.
I am a better person when I care for myself. (Isn’t that what we are taught?) When on an airplane, you are instructed to put the mask over your own face, and then take care of others near to you. Why is it so hard to commit to self-care, when even our society is letting us know that it is vitally important?
Today, I am re-committing (after re-remembering) to myself and my word of intention for the year: “Health”. Food, exercise, and rest. To be the best me, so I can be a better person for all my friends, family, coworkers (and myself!) to be around.
I would love for you to share your realization and commitment story:
Is there something that you have devoted yourself to that is draining your energy? What can you choose to do right now to relieve stress and feel more in alignment with your own intentions?
On that note (of self-care), I am off to bed!
May health and happiness be with you all – Goodnight!
Two weeks ago, I decided to commit to get back into the habit and lifestyle of being a Runner again. I found a marathon training program and another for a 50k, which I intend to work through, back-to-back. And you know, as an experienced runner, you know you’re supposedto ease back into running if your mileage is not up where you “need it to be” for your training.
… So of course (as an experienced runner) I decided to jump right in. Head first. I ran seven miles to work with a friend Thursday for the first time ever (pretty cool to get to run to work), and went out yesterday for my first 10 mile run since … Well, honestly, sometime last September.
Now here I am, beginning Week 5 of 18 in Marathon training (I skipped the first two weeks because I’m already a runner, after all), making an all-natural and organic home-remedy from Simple Green Smoothies of lemon, ginger and honey, hoping with all hopes that this will kick the sore throat I am beginning to develop before it becomes a full-blown-sickness-thing.
I am overdoing it, and it is showing up in my body.
The classic conundrum now begs my attention: how do I make the choice to slow down, scale-back, and let my body heal when I have goals to meet?
I am registered for the 20 mile race at the Peterson Ridge Rumble happening April 12th. I’m excited, nervous, and thrilled to have a goal distance to train toward. And now I’m afraid I’ll fall behind. Because I started behind.
The past two weeks have been … stressful, to put it lightly. I moved two weeks ago, I’m looking for opportunities to move forward in my career, and I am feeling my way through a transition in perspective in life, and finally learning what is really important to me.
And believe me, it has been one heck of a long haul.
I find myself experiencing moments of jealousy. People that I work with that are really happy doing what they love: how did they find their path so quickly? The entrepreneur friend who has opened a coffee shop, or a boutique, or is a designer creating art and making a living: these people are my heroes, and it is incredibly inspiring to see them succeed at business they passionately worked toward.
How did they manage to do these fantastic things so early in life?
And why do I feel so behind in the game?
I have always been successful at what I put my mind to, and I am immensely grateful for this ability. In college it was easy because you had to choose one thing to study and get your degree. And I’ll admit, after graduation and landing a “real job” I didn’t feel the need to pursue anything in particular besides enjoying life in that moment. Now I find myself unable to find my focus; to choose one thing to put my energy toward and tackle. Except…
I know I want to run. And race.
And putting my mind and body out there in the elements, asking it to perform like it did last summer post Newport Marathon, pre-Siskiyou Outback, without a proper gradual increase is causing a mild rebellion. So, despite my brain yelling at me to get out and run, I am going to sleep in tomorrow, have an easy morning, and head to the office. Drink tea instead of coffee, and eat wholesome foods to nourish my body and soul back to health.
Sometimes it is hard to listen to that little voice in your head, urging you to do what is best for you.
Right now, I choose to listen to the murmurs, and hope to all grace and goodness that soon I’ll get the message that all is well and I’m free to run circles around my currently un-trained running self. With any luck, whispered tidbits of wisdom will float through my mind and begin guiding me, providing a sense of focus for my soul to settle and commit to a purposeful pursuit.
Letting go of the anxiety of not knowing and using the logical brain to think everything through, and beginning to allow the guidance of feeling to take over is my new objective.
I would love to hear from you, your thoughts and what is working for you on your journey through life:
How do you feel your way through life?
How do you know when you are being guided?
When did you discover your greatest desire and passion?
Thanks so much for taking the time to ponder possibilities, share successes, and contribute to this magnificent conversation about life and the pursuit of passion.