Determined

In order to lead the life we want to live, it takes a certain amount of self-worth and determination to make that life possible.  We need to set our own desires at a higher level of importance over our outside influences (job, the weather, family, daylight savings time, friends … even sleep, unless that is one of the things you desire and value) in order to keep moving forward.

It’s interesting and amusing to observe, that despite all of the extraordinary life events that have happened throughout this past year of life – people very important passing from this life, others walking out and ending friendships, my first exploration outside the United States on a trip to Ireland, dealing with awful apartments, moving THREE times, turning thirty, starting to get out social dancing again, and finally making the choice to learn to drive and get my license – I feel more settled and at home in my own skin than I have in the last six years combined.

So, in the spirit of doing what I need to lead the life I want for myself, tonight I stayed home, cooked dinner, baked cookies, and washed a LOT of dishes.  I plan on running in the morning before work (dark and early!): the coffee pot is prepped, lunch is set to go, and while I am so Monday-tired I can barely keep my eyes propped open, I still sit here writing because that, too, is an important part of my expression, and my desire to share my experiences keeps me from cutting this short and going to sleep, right here with my head on the table.

And in the morning, no matter how tired I am when that alarm goes off at five o’dark thirty, I will crawl out of bed and put on my vibram fivefingers, reflective vest, and head lamp because running is important to me.  This year, I aspired to run my first marathon when my Grampa completed his 50 state plus DC during the Marine Corps Marathon, but did not plan and make time to achieve this intended goal.  I let work, weather, life, social commitments, and other obligations take up all the “extra” time I could have been running.  Unfortunately for me, running 26.2 miles isn’t something a girl can easily go out and do without training if she decides she wants to, so I let myself stay home, and missed that momentous occasion.  So, now… training begins.

I may be 31 by the time I run my first marathon, but I am going to get out, get some miles under these legs, and cross the finish line.  And if I’m lucky, my Mom and Grampa will be there with me, holding hands, goofy smiles, and burbling tears as we cross the line together.  🙂

Dark mornings call for reflections. Stay safe out there!

~Alaina

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